The odd one out: the experience of a black student social worker
Liverpool was not new to me - I chose a university in Liverpool as I had visited the city a few times and I stayed with family in Toxeth for a few months during my gap year. If I wasn’t in Toxeth I was walking and shopping in town. For those who have never heard of or been to Toxeth, I would say it’s similar to some of the diverse urban areas of London, although strangers will smile or say ‘good morning’, and the pace is a fair bit slower than the hustle and bustle I was used to. Liverpool City Centre reminded me of central London, but again the pace was slower - I felt at home, safe and enjoyed my time there.
As soon as I saw an option for a studio accommodation, rather than a small room in halls and sharing everything with strangers, I thought it was a no-brainer - there was no way I could fit all my shoes, handbags and everything else I thought I needed in such a small space. I was certain I would meet people and make friends on the course, in the halls and during fresher’s week – after all, that’s what university is all about.
I met a few people in the halls block who were friendly and living what seemed to be their best university life. I went out with them a couple of times, but always felt like I was the odd one out - maybe because I was a year older, wasn’t into the same music? Or maybe it was because I was from London and they were from cities not too far from Liverpool? I soon found myself visiting my family or walking into town on my own more often.
I didn’t really have friends in my class. There would be one or two people that I would sit next to or talk to but again, I felt like the odd one out - maybe it was because I was one of the youngest amongst mature students, who had a wealth of experience, and they didn’t seem interested in going to student bars and nights out in town?
A few months into the course I got a temporary Christmas job working in a local sorting office (the studio accommodation wasn’t the most affordable option). It was long hours, but I could put my headphones in and sort the Christmas cards to the beat. No one spoke to me though, and again I felt like the odd one out - maybe it was because they all knew each other?
For the last semester I had to complete a 40-day placement. There seemed to be an issue with finding a placement for me so, I had to wait a few weeks longer than planned. When a placement was found, it was two bus rides away, taking me at least one hour away from the city centre, which was pretty far for someone who was now accustomed to everything being in walking distance or a 10-minute drive away.
I started to notice people that seemed less friendly as I made my way to placement. The only people who smiled at me were a couple of black people. Within a few days I started to move closer to the front of the bus. I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t feel very comfortable during my commute.
My placement was in a children’s centre. In the first couple of days, I was trying to interact with a young child, but his mum said to him “Leave the lady alone, she’s really busy”. I remember thinking “I’m not busy”. I was pretty bored if I’m honest, as I had very few interactions with staff and young people at that point. When I went with a member of staff to a local GP practice, people stared at me in the waiting room. I wasn’t sure why - maybe it was because I wasn’t from the area?
On my way to the children’s centre on my third day, a woman got on the bus with a baby, leaving the pram at the bus stop. At first, I thought it was a bit strange to leave the pram, but then I saw that she handed her baby to another woman, who was sitting a few seats behind me. The bus driver waited for her to close the pram and get back on the bus. She then thanked the woman and sat down at the front of the bus with the baby. I remember thinking: “If she didn’t know the other woman, then why would she walk past me, rather than hand me the baby to hold?”
On the fourth day, I sat near the front of the bus and pressed the bell to get off and stood near to the driver, waiting for the bus stop. To my surprise, the bus driver drove past the stop and continued to drive while ignoring my calls to stop the bus. I remember feeling anxious. I was now in an area that I didn’t know, I didn’t feel I could ask anyone for directions if I needed them and I was completely out of my comfort zone.
I decided to contact my university to explain that I didn’t feel I was going to get the most out of my placement, if no one (including the staff) interacted with me, and that I felt it wasn’t working out. Now I was beginning to think - maybe it’s because I am black?
To my delight, and surprise, my university understood and thought it would be appropriate to find another placement nearby - maybe I’m right, maybe it is because I’m black?
After speaking to family and friends, I realised I wasn’t the only one who thought it was because I was black and that what I had been experiencing was not out of the ordinary. Being from London, I was accustomed to being in a diverse society – I was never made to feel like the odd one out.
At the end of the first year, my tenancy came to an end and I was informed that due to the lack of available placements and time of year, the university was unable to find me a suitable placement. This meant I had to go back to London without completing my studies.
Not long after I returned to London, I started a job as an Office Assistant and continued to work in administration for several years. Although I enjoyed my work, I decided to return to Liverpool to finish my degree. I’ve always been told as a black woman that I have to work twice as hard and take opportunities where I can. My second attempt at university allowed me to make a few good friends, who happened to be black. The university accommodated my requests to complete the 200-day placement in London, to avoid a similar experience happening again. By this time, I’d moved on from the idea of being a social worker and only visited areas in Liverpool that are diverse and where I felt comfortable – maybe one day I’ll be a social worker?
Louise Coombs, Training and Consultancy Administrator, CoramBAAF
Louise is currently undertaking social work training, working towards registering with Social Work England. She is also training to become a Mental Health First Aider. In addition to her role at CoramBAAF, Louise is an EDI Champion and attends monthly EDI forums and planning groups.