Transport, terminology and tiredness: reflections from research
Care experienced children often have multiple vulnerabilities. They need the best start to settling in with their carers or adoptive family. I am a paediatrician and looked after children's Designated Doctor (and previously an adoption medical advisor) and, having worked with these children for many years, I am passionate about this topic.
Post-adoption depression (PAD) affects some adoptive parents and can have disastrous consequences for their bonding with the child. We have sadly had serious case reviews in safeguarding in the UK in which this was a theme. My Churchill Fellowship allows me to study how different adoption agencies are teaching about PAD, identifying it and supporting adopters through it.
I intend to bring any resources to the UK and share with those in leadership and with influence regarding adoption processes in both health and social care to ensure it is addressed in the UK. My long-term desire is to see adoptive families thrive. Here are some reflections from the beginning of my travels:
New words
As I travel in Europe it’s all familiar enough that I can get by even if I don’t know or read the language. I’ve negotiated trains, ‘tag’, ‘tog’, ‘trein’. (I’ve become quick at google translate too). It has made me think about all the new language our children in care and adopters have to negotiate.
Each family has its own vocabulary which can seem alien to a newcomer - think lunch, dinner, tea, supper for example; which do you use? For adopters who may never have been parents before what in the child’s world is a ‘Go Jetter’, ‘Buggaboo’, ‘airup’? In the systems around them what are health visitors, SENCOs , EHCPs? And how are we as professionals helping adults and children alike to negotiate these new things (without google translate too)?
Tiredness
Whilst travelling and new experiences are fascinating and exhilarating, I must be honest that they are also exhausting. I have found myself needing so much more sleep than usual.
The task of navigating my way round the day-to-day practicalities takes more energy. Some of this is physical exhaustion as I have walked many miles from train station to venues to hotels.
However, I have become aware that some of this is emotional fatigue – I have to be hyper alert to clues around me both on a practical level and from a social norm and cultural perspective. Some questions come to mind:
Can I cross the road here? Can I eat on the train? How do I get off the bus without getting knocked over by a cyclist? Do I smile at strangers?
I don’t have the subconscious or inbuilt knowledge that I have in my own country where I don’t normally have to pay attention to these things.
I have again been drawn to the comparison with the children in care and adopters that I work with. Many adopters talk about feeling exhausted when a child is placed with them. This maybe physical tiredness from the broken sleep of a young child but it is also psychological tiredness from navigating the new, being hyper alert to the child’s needs and the emotional turbulence of it all.
This has left me with thoughts such as, are we as professionals preparing them for this? How are we supporting them with it? Are we walking with them in identifying and unpicking the emotions they are feeling, including the negative and maybe unspeakable ones? Are we acknowledging that change in their lives may feel tiring or exhausting? Suggesting they get more physical sleep is helpful but not the whole issue. Helping them to name this psychological fatigue may not remove it but it will help.
What next?
I will be visiting the Salt River Maricopa tribal nation and their adoption, fostering and kinship agency. I will share more of my thoughts and reflections from the next stage of my trip, and will include my findings in my Churchill Fellowship Report when complete.
Dr Lynn Snow, Churchill Fellow & Community Paediatrician working as Designated Doctor for looked after children for Leicester, Leicestershire and Rutland
We will be sharing more updates from Lynn’s trip in the weeks to come. Subscribe to CoramBAAF News and stay up to date with her thoughts and reflections, as well as other news!