Supporting children living with kinship carers overseas to stay in touch with friends and family in the UK
Each year our Outbound Permanence Service provides information, resources and support to local authorities considering placing children overseas with kinship carers. In 2023-2024, there were 235 new referrals to our advice service, covering requests for advice for 325 children.
Of those children:
- 40% were of mixed ethnicity
- 50% were over four years old
- 30% were leaving siblings behind in the UK
- 85% had no or little pre-existing relationship with the overseas carer or country
Staying in touch
There are additional aspects to consider when placing children overseas with kinship carers on all legal orders. 40% of the children in our data, are of mixed ethnicity, meaning that their parents are from different countries, and the children may only be familiar with one country’s culture, language and customs.
Sometimes potential kinship carers have migrated to a country (like the US, Australia, Canada or Norway) and the child will not share that cultural experience or background with the family member. 85% of children have little pre-existing relationship with their overseas carers before the care proceedings begin. 50% of the children in our data group are over four years old when the proceedings take place.
So, many children will be settled in the UK and will have built up important relationships with family members, their foster carers and friends. Each child will have a developing sense of who they are and what is important in the world around them. This will become the basis of their self-esteem and sense of identity. Staying in touch with those important to them plays a crucial role in supporting the child as they adjust to life in their new surroundings.
Arranging for the child to remain within the extended family, usually by going to live with an aunt or grandparent overseas, can have positive benefits for the children concerned. It also gives the child the opportunity to maintain relationships with family members in the UK, and elsewhere in the world, which may not occur if they are adopted or fostered in the UK. However, ensuring this happens takes extra effort and commitment on the part of the local authority, and the overseas carer, as the range of factors (time difference, internet connection, logistics and finances) can make staying in touch difficult to achieve.
At the beginning of the process, the social worker should find out from the child and foster carers who the key people in the child’s life are. The details of these individuals need to be included in the support plan, where it is safe to do so. If the child is young, it is important to consider how to keep contact alive with key people in the future. 30% have older siblings in the UK, usually in other placements, and the potential for either maintaining or developing relationships with them could be impacted by a move abroad. This requires special consideration as part of any care plan.
The most critical aspect of any approach to arrangements for staying in touch is the need to allow for genuinely individual plans. No two children, families or adopters are the same. Those with lived experience constantly reiterate the need for an individual and flexible approach to support plans(?), which allows for differences in circumstances. Any plans should also adapt to reflect the changing needs of the child throughout childhood, teenage years and beyond.
There are lots of ways for relatives and other people important to the child to keep in contact. The type of contact and how often it should happen, will enable the child to keep family time with their parents, siblings, and other people important to them. One practical way of keeping the child’s links with the UK and key people, is by obtaining a UK passport for them and ensuring it is renewed every ten years so that when they are older they can visit (especially as many countries allow dual nationality).This needs to be discussed during the assessment and details included in the support plan.
Often children are moving to their new family life from foster carers who may also be important to the child. Many foster carers love to hear from the children they cared for. Older children may wish to keep in touch with friends. There are many ways to keep this contact alive virtually, for example via email, social media, or virtual platforms as well as in person – it is important that the overseas carer knows and agrees with the arrangements and understands the expectations. If the child has extended family in the UK, clarify if the local authority will pay for in person family time and for how long. This is especially important for families overseas that do not have access to the internet, or where the connection is unreliable or restricted. It is good practice to keep the plan clear and practical, so that the overseas carer feels able to commit to it.
Social media is a key way of keeping in touch but the overseas carer should think carefully about the child and social media channels used as this can be problematic. In general, a child needs to be helped to understand that anything posted on social media can potentially be seen by many people and is permanent. Every child needs to be guided as to what is sensible to post, who to accept as friends and the need for the overseas carer to sometimes monitor the activity. We recommend that carers move away from restriction and towards moderation, to empower children and young people to become resilient online.
If you have any question regarding the placement of a child with carers overseas please get in touch with the Outbound Permanence Service team. Myself or my colleagues are here to support our members to help get the right plans in place for each child embarking on a new life abroad.
Sandra Latter, Outbound Permanence Service Advisor, CoramBAAF