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Birth mothers’ experiences of having children in kinship care

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Pause is a national charity that works to improve the lives of women who have had – or are at risk of having – more than one child removed from their care, and the services and systems that affect them and their families. We provide an 18-month compassionate programme of post-removal support, centred around an intensive and trusting relationship between a woman and her Pause Practitioner, who work together to build strong foundations for the future.   

In recent years, there has been a stronger national focus on reforming kinship care, following the Independent Review of Children’s Social Care and the launch of the government’s first National Kinship Care Strategy. Pause welcomes this increased focus on support for kinship families and the growing spotlight on their needs, but we think there's still more work to be done.

Crucially, at Pause we believe that there remains limited recognition of: the role that birth parents continue to play in kinship care arrangements, the importance of the relationship between birth parents and their children, and the complex dynamics kinship care can create within families.

In October, Pause published a paper highlighting the experiences of birth mothers who have children placed in kinship care. Almost half (45%) of the children of women who are currently on the Pause Programme are in kinship care arrangements. From our work with these birth mothers, we know that their role and support needs must be considered in order to ensure happy and stable kinship arrangements. Our paper brings their perspective to the forefront:

“Our perspective is important because we have lived experience of kinship care. Some of us are the third generation to experience care proceedings and navigate kinship placements. We don’t want our children to go through the same negative experiences we have been through.” 

Chelsea, Heidi, Jade and Suzanne - birth mothers who have children placed in kinship care.

The paper draws on our learnings from working with over 1,800 birth mothers over the past decade, as well as in-depth conversations with a group of four women who have children living in kinship care. These birth mothers are from different parts of England and have had varying experiences of kinship care. However, a common thread for all of them was that, whilst they all recognise the value of children being placed within their family network, they have all faced challenges for that very same reason: because their children have been placed within the family network.

“When a child is placed with a family member (or another appropriate carer) and it works well, it gives them a stable childhood and they have a better understanding of their true identity. Everyone needs to work together and be on the same page for this to happen.” 

Chelsea, Heidi, Jade and Suzanne. 

All family relationships are complex. Kinship care, by its very nature, creates a new family dynamic, which can bring further unique challenges to the situation. Whilst the paper highlights the experiences of birth mothers, we know from the wider sector that these same challenges impact everyone involved in kinship care. The main challenges explored in the paper are:

  • The impact of adult relationships on contact between the child and their birth mother  
  • Double loss: the impact on the birth mother’s support network when a family member or close friend becomes a child’s kinship carer 
  • The impact of domestic abuse in situations of kinship care 
  • A general lack of understanding of different kinship care arrangements and their distinct implications 
  • Financial barriers to maintaining contact

We know that support is urgently needed for kinship families – children, kinship carers and birth parents – to ensure the best outcomes for children. To do this, it’s critical that we listen to and learn from those with experience of kinship care from all perspectives and backgrounds.

CoramBAAF shares our recognition of the importance of listening to and learning from all perspectives, including birth parents. We were delighted to support their recent work developing a new assessment template Form K (previously Form C), by helping them to facilitate a focus group where birth mothers who have completed the Pause Programme were able to share their thoughts. The new form is now being piloted across 12 local authorities in England and we are looking forward to a follow-up focus group to draft an appendix to Form K, with information specifically for birth parents.

“As well as the focus group with parents, CoramBAAF have also consulted with kinship carers who shared their experiences of finding the assessment process invasive and intrusive. It is important that both parents and prospective kinship carers receive clear information to ensure that the assessment process informs the support that will be needed to enable the child to maintain family relationships.

We are grateful for the support from Pause in the development of Form K and value the views of parents whose children are living in kinship arrangements. The need for trauma-informed and strengths-based assessment has shaped Form K which will be published in February 2025, along with information sheets for both parents and prospective kinship carers.”

Clare Seth, Kinship Consultant, CoramBAAF.

Pause encourages professionals to read 'Birth mothers’ experiences of having children in kinship care’ and consider both the perspective of birth parents and the challenges explored in the paper when working with kinship families. We also encourage you to consider the experiences of birth parents in your work, by creating opportunities to listen to and learn from them. Please get in touch if you would like our support with this.  

Fi Gilligan, Communications & Campaigns Officer, Pause.